


Bikini Babe

by a_stands_for



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Beaches, Breasts, F/M, Het, Teasing, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-01
Updated: 2012-04-01
Packaged: 2017-11-02 21:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_stands_for/pseuds/a_stands_for
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the kink meme. Originally posted June 2011.</p><p>In which Dave is embarrassingly aroused, Rose is viciously amused, and Jade's obliviousness to her sexuality strains credibility.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bikini Babe

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Jade + bikini + hormones + Dave losing his cool + amused Rose. Originally posted [here](http://homesmut.livejournal.com/6376.html?thread=8228072#t8228072).
> 
> (Today the A stands for Arousal)
> 
>  

The sun was hot, glaring down on the sand until it burned feet and glinting off the water until it made eyes water. Fortunately Dave was never without his sunglasses, and he was feeling pretty chill under the shade of a massive umbrella. His sister was lounging beside him on a matching beach chaise, her nose firmly in a book. Leave it to Rose to completely miss the point of a trip to the ocean.

He had no doubt the Derp-Siblings would make the most of it, though. When they finally got out here, anyway. What was taking them so long? He glanced over his shoulder back at the hotel, but there was still no sign of them.

“They were still at the breakfast bar when I came out,” Rose answered his unasked question, not even looking up. Dave rolled his eyes.

“I bet they'll wait a full hour before they set foot in the water, too,” he scoffed. Rose's lips twitched in a smirk. With a sigh, Dave leaned back and draped his arms over his head. Breathing in the salty air, he closed his eyes and listened to the soothing sound of the waves. It was a poor rhythm for composing sick fires with, but it was pretty awesome for drifting off by.

Apparently he really did manage to fall asleep, because the shadows had shifted when he was abruptly pulled to wakefulness by a body plopping beside him in the chair. He looked up to find Jade next to him, chatting about something inconsequential with John, who stood a few feet away watching the ocean waves with a grin. Jade had a bottle of sun block in one hand, rubbing the white substance over her forearms and shoulders with the other.

“Oh, hey Dave! You're awake!” she chirped, twisting to face him.

Dave pulled down his arms, shaking the pins and needles out of them. “It's about time you two got here, the ocean's not going last forever, you know.”

Jade laughed, causing her chest to bounce enthusiastically. Suddenly, Dave was _wide awake_.

For some reason, he had expected her to be wearing a modest one piece, probably with ruffles across the top and a wrap besides. With dawning shock, he realized how wrong he'd been. Jade was wearing a bikini. A very daring bikini. A very daring, bright green bikini that probably matched her eyes, not that he could tell because he was definitely not looking at them. Somehow he'd never realized how... generous... Jade was. Proportion-wise.

She squeezed a long streak of cream down her tan legs and leaned over to rub it in, which only served to exaggerate her cleavage. It also brought his attention to the plump rump currently rubbing against his leg. It occurred to Dave that he should probably scoot over a bit, give her a little more room on the seat.

He didn't.

Jade straightened back up and got to work on her stomach, smearing the greasy substance all the way down to the edge of her bikini bottoms. Dave's mouth went dry. Next up was her chest—she decided to squeeze the bottle out directly across her sternum, letting the white liquid drip in rivulets down her breasts, pooling between them before she smeared her hands through it and began stroking the soft orbs, the tips of her fingers slipping underneath the fabric of her top and _oh gog he was getting a boner._

Dave drew his legs up as casually as possible, which meant that the derps were oblivious and his sister was watching him with the most shit-eating-grin imaginable. Dave started to open his mouth to say something really scathing to her, trying to salvage his dignity, but Jade suddenly waved the bottle of sunblock in his face.

“Could you do my back?” she asked, all adorableness and innocence.

How could he refuse?

Dave sat up and turned his back on Rose as Jade turned her back on him, pulling her hair around her shoulder. He struggled to regain his cool as he stared at the smooth expanse, punctuated only by a tenuous string tied in a bow. That flimsy tie was the only thing between those knockers and sweet jiggly freedom.

_Focus, Dave! Keep it together._

Pouring out a generous amount of sun block, he set the bottle aside and worked both hands over her back, rubbing the slippery stuff across her shoulder-blades, neck, and down her spine. He worked under the line of string at her neck and her back, trying to ignore the feeling of Rose's eyes burning into the back of his head. It occurred to Dave, as his hands worked lower down Jade's back, that she could probably reach the rest now, and might not appreciate his hands getting that close to her juicy derriere.

“Um,” he fumbled, “how far do you want me to go?”

“Hmm? All the way's fine.”

Rose snickered. Dave moaned to himself, trying not to squirm.  _Why did she have to phrase it like that?_ He finished the job as quickly as he could, just wanting to get the business over with before he could embarrass himself further. Jade was having none of that, though. As soon as he was finished she got up and moved behind him, reclaiming the bottle.

“Now I'll do you!”

Dave's ears burned as he heard his sibling's stifled chortles. “No, it's fine, really,” he tried to protest, but Jade barreled over his objections.

“Don't be silly, your skin is so fair! You'll get even _more_ freckles if you don't wear protection!”

Rose actually snorted, barely containing her giggles. Dave just wanted to shrivel up and die. But then slippery hands were roaming over his back, and shriveling was the  _last_ thing he was doing.  _Think about turn offs,_ he chanted in his head.  _Egbert's movie collection. Lil' Cal popping up in the shower. Lalonde psychoanalyzing you._ Any wilting he might have achieved, however, was counteracted by the way Jade kneaded his shoulders, traced his freckles, and stroked his skin all the way down to his swim trunks. It was a stalemate at best.

“I think I can get the rest,” he cut in weakly. Jade smiled and passed the bottle over to him before hopping up to join her brother in the surf, her exuberant flounce like an erotic wave goodbye. Dave watched her jog away for entirely too long before he caught himself, then turned to glare at his sister.

She was innocently reading her book again, but a smirk still twisted her lips.

“Shut up,” he growled, and she grinned without looking up. They both knew she wasn't going to say anything, and Dave mentally bemoaned his fate as he continued to apply the sunblock. Silence was not going to hamper her teasing in the slightest.

* * *

By the time John and Jade were bored with chasing each other across the length of the beach, splashing each other with blasts of cold water and in general acting like hyperactive children, Dave had finally regained his composure and gotten things under control. This, of course, meant it was time for round two of torment. The dark-haired siblings came barreling toward them like a stampede of doom, all toothy grins and joyful laughter.

“There's a volleyball net set up down that way,” Jade shouted with an enthusiastic point of a finger. “Let's play doubles!”

“Yeah, Rose! You can't come to the beach and spend the whole day reading! Come play with us!”

Dave could all too easily imagine what a disaster that would be. Fortunately it wouldn't be too hard to turn them down after Rose did the same.

“You know what?” Lalonde asked in a voice full of marvel, picking up her bookmark. “That _does_ sound like fun!”

“Whoo-hoo!” John cried in triumph, grabbing her hand and helping her from the chair. Dave stared at them in disbelief. _No fucking way. She hates that kind of thing._

The sly little aside glance she gave him was all the answer he needed. Even Rose would endure sand, sweat and sunburn for the chance of humiliating her brother.

“Come on Dave, let's go!” Jade cheered, and before he could work up an adequate excuse he found himself being dragged across the beach. _Well_ , he comforted himself, _at least if we're on the same team it should be easier not to look._

“How about siblings versus siblings?” Rose called as she was pulled along.

“Awesome! You're going down, coolkids!” John said with a laugh, Jade happily joining in.

_Fuck. You. Rose!_

A volleyball was easily located near the net, sealing his fate. He drug his feet through the sand as he took his position, his own personal raincloud storming up his disposition. “Cheer up, Strider,” Rose murmured in his ear as she moved beside him. “You could just try not looking.”

_Fat chance of that._

Sure enough, as soon as the game began Dave found his eyes captured down the well of gravity that was Jade's bouncing flesh. When she dived to the left, her boobs seemed to follow a split-second later, and when her body came to a sudden halt, they  _didn't_ . When she jumped up to spike the ball over the net, they appeared to defy gravity for a moment, straining to burst their bonds. When she missed a ball and had to chase it down, her pert rear wiggled with every step. When she made a diving save that sent her sprawling across the court, she came up painted with a layer of glittering sand. “Ahhh, time out!” she giggled cutely, brushing her hands over her stomach and thighs. She tugged on the triangle of fabric that covered her squeezable ass, trying to get the cloth to stop riding up. Then she rubbed vigorously over her chest, parting the round peaks to brush the sand out from between them, lifting them up one by one to get the underside.

“Oh, _hell_ ,” Dave whimpered, leaning over with his hands on his knees, pretending to be out of breath. Rose snickered, loving every minute of this.

“Come on, Dave, you can't be tired already!” John taunted. “You're way more fit then I am!” Dave cursed the fact that Rose was far less endowed and dressed so modestly. It would be a small comfort if Egbert were at least suffering as much as he was.

Jiggle jiggle! A ball went flying past in easy reach, but he didn't even move. Boing boing! He struck another ball and it smacked straight into the net. Wibble wobble! A swing and a miss. Bounce bounce! He got beaned in the face. By this point even Jade was ribbing him. The irony was astounding. He almost felt proud of her.

In the end, Team Coolkid lost horribly to Team Derp. Dorky clumsiness was no match in the suck department for Rose's lack of athletic talent and Dave's complete loss of focus. Jade and John gave each other victory high-fives and immediately demanded that Dave treat them to ice cream.

“Rose lost too,” he grumbled, which they conveniently ignored. With a long-suffering sigh he lead the lot of them to the hotel vending machines, coughing up the cash for the one with frozen treats. Jade picked out a lemon pop. A long, phallic lemon pop.

_Ha ha. Of course_. 

They walked back out to their seats under the beach umbrella to eat. Dave felt almost resigned at this point. He watched Jade almost mournfully as she licked and sucked over the melting treat, sticky droplets running down her chin and splashing into her bosom. With a groan he realized he was fantasizing about that mouth working over his own hardening length, his spunk splattering over those glistening round orbs. He leaned over, arms on his knees as he hung his head in a poor attempt to hide his burning flush and tenting shorts.

“What's wrong, Dave?” she asked with concern, setting down her finished popsicle stick.

“It's hot,” he answered after a moment, misleadingly honest. 

She pondered this for a moment. “Why don't we go for a swim? The water will cool you down, and I'm kinda sticky now, anyway.”

_Cold, concealing water? Perfect!_

“That sounds like a marvelous idea. In fact, I'll race you there.” Dave abruptly jumped from his seat and ran for the shoreline before she could even respond. For a moment she stared in surprise; then she was tearing after him, laughing and accusing him of cheating.

The water wasn't nearly cold enough but it still felt good, and it was mercifully murky. Safe from further embarrassment, Dave tried to regain some of his lost cred. As the other two joined them he teamed up with Jade in an epic splash battle, until Rose looked like a drowned rat and John had been pulled underwater by his feet more than once. Laughter abounded. Things were finally calming down in Dave's swim trunks. The day was looking up.

Then John had to suddenly dive forward, grab his sister's shoulders, and push them under the water.

“ _Jegus_ , Jade, where's your top!” he screeched, red faced with embarrassment over getting an inadvertent eyeful of his sibling's torso.

“Oh!” she exclaimed in mild chagrin, looking down. “I guess the bows came undone.”

“I told you that thing looked unreliable!” John huffed.

“But it was so pretty,” she said with a pout. “I hope it hasn't gone far, I'd hate to lose it.”

“Come on, Dave, help me look for it,” John said as he turned to his friend. Dave jerked out of his stupor and looked around half-heartedly, once again cursing his racing mind as thoughts of bare jugs sizzled in his think-pan. He darted little glances at Jade when he thought no one was looking. She seemed concerned, but only because she had lost a possession, not because it meant she was half naked. She had already forgotten that she was supposed to be hunched over for cover, her shoulders now re-emerged and the top of her breasts bobbing buoyantly at the water's surface.

_Fuck fuck fuck!_

Blood pumped to his groin once more.  _At this rate I'm going to get blue balls!_ his thoughts screamed. He was indeed feeling painfully aroused, the build-up of fluids in his nuts distractingly uncomfortable. A deep red flush was climbing down his face to spread over his freckled shoulders and pale chest. Uncaring of his predicament, Rose and John finally gave up on searching for the missing scrap of fabric, much to Jade's disappointment.

“I'm sorry, Rose,” she sniffled, giving her friend a bare-chested hug. “I can't believe I lost it, after you went through the trouble of buying it for me. Wasn't it expensive?”

“It's okay, Jade. It more than paid for itself.”

_What._

“In the meantime,” she continued as Jade puzzled over that statement, “we need to get you up to our hotel room without flashing the world at large. Dave, could you fetch one of the towels in our pile of stuff?”

Dave considered his options. He could concede his loss, accept his humiliation at his sister's hands and endure her eternal gloating. Or he could embarrass himself in front of all three of them, endure the eternal gloating of both Rose  _and_ John, and never be able to look the girl he kinda-sorta liked in the eye ever again.

With a wave goodbye to his dignity, he swallowed his pride and met his sister's challenging gaze with a pathetic look of surrender.

“Could you get them? Please?”

Rose arched an eyebrow, taking in his beleaguered expression and reddened face. Apparently it was enough to finally make her take pity on him. “I suppose, dear brother. You aren't looking so well.” She made her way out of the water and returned shortly with two large fluffy towels, which promptly got wet as Dave and Jade attempted to cover themselves up as they rose out of the waves.

“Jade, why don't you take Dave with you to the hotel room, see if you can't find something for him in my medicine kit.”

“Sure!” she said cheerily, taking him by the arm not holding his towel and leading him away. “I should have known you were under the weather, it just didn't seem like you to be so bad at a sport, even if you're not into volleyball. It sucks that you're feeling down on our vacation!” she commiserated.

Dave just nodded his head vacantly to anything she said. All he could think about was getting to the privacy of his room and the sweet release that would soon follow. He hobbled along into the hotel lobby and the two of them entered an elevator, dripping all over the floor. It was one of those elevators with mirrors for walls, giving him a panoramic view of the way Jade's wet towel clung to her every curve.

_Just hang on, man. You're gonna make it!_

The lift stopped at their floor and Dave tried to slip away into his own room, but Jade dragged him firmly into hers. “This'll only take a moment,” she reassured him. He leaned against the wall in a hollow mockery of coolness, just waiting for her to hand him a pill that he would only throw away as soon as her back was turned.

The door to the bathroom was already slightly ajar. If he hadn't been so distracted, Dave might have been able to prevent what happened next.

Jade pushed the door open, headed for Rose's toiletry bag. A precariously perched bucket tipped over and fell, pouring its chilly contents over the girl's head. She let out a startled cry, stumbling backwards and dropping her towel as she pulled the bucket off. There was a wet thump from the towel, a loud clatter from the bucket, and a thud as her back slammed into Dave's chest.

Dave did what any hot-blooded, hormonal teenager would do it that situation. He took the opportunity to catch her, assuming that 'catching' involved grabbing a double handful of boobs and squeezing.

Amazingly enough, Jade didn't seem to notice. Or if she did, she was completely convinced that Dave was only trying to keep her from falling. “JOHN!” she screamed, shivering with cold. “I'm going to kill him! Who packs a bucket for a trip to the beach, anyway? How did he even get in here to set it up? And it was  _ice water_ too, that fuckass!”

Dave peered over Jade's shoulder at the glorious expanse of rippling flesh gripped within his fingers.  _Fuck yes!_ his brain chanted over and over. Her wet, pink tits were indeed jutting out impudently from the cold. He made a point to slide his fingers over them, and Jade let out a startled squeak and jumped, her plump rump bumping backwards into his agonizing need.

He ground against the pressure, his better judgment lost in the haze. He'd been in a near-persistent state of arousal all day, taunted and teased mercilessly, and now he was  _finally_ kneading and rutting against the sources of his torment! It only took a moment before he was spurting into his shorts, grateful for the thick towel that was still clinging around him. The pain washed away into spasms of pleasure as torrent after torrent of cum fired out of him, so much that it started oozing in rivulets down his thighs. Dave let out a guttural moan from the ecstasy of release and sagged heavier and heavier over her shoulders, until he was utterly spent. 

Jade staggered a little under his weight. “Oh my _gog!_ ” she exclaimed, and Dave began to tense and flush with horror as he realized what he'd just done. “Here I am, standing around screaming at that jerk who isn't even here, and you're trying as hard as you can not to throw up! I'm so sorry, here, go, go!” She half dragged, half pushed him across the cold puddle into the bathroom, taking only a moment to dig through one of the bags that littered the counter. “Here, take this when you're sure you can keep it down,” she said in a rush, before darting back into the suite and slamming the door behind her.

Dave stared at the little packaged pill in his hand and sat down on the lid of the toilet with a sigh. Every muscle in his body felt weak, and though the orgasm had been... orgasmic, he felt rather dirty and uncool. He berated himself as he began cleaning up, cursing over and over in his head. And to think, he'd woke up this morning with the certainty that today was going to be awesome. Now he felt too embarrassed to look anyone in the eye, and the day was only half-over yet!

* * *

Jade writhed on the bed, blushing furiously as she fingered and fondled herself to distraction. That was... the  _hottest_ thing  _EVER._ She'd never felt so aroused, driving a man that cool and sexy to his wits end like that! How long did it take a guy to be ready for a second go? Long enough to finish pretending to be sick, surely. As soon as he opened that door she was going to have to make a confession. She hoped he wouldn't get too mad. She had a suspicion the promise of sexy-times would help take the edge off, in any case. Rose wouldn't be returning anytime soon; she should be starting her own shenanigans with John now that her brother was out of the way.

With a stifled moan Jade shuddered into orgasm, the first of, she hoped, many to come. After all, the day was only half-over yet!

**Author's Note:**

> Check out this funny, sexy fanart comic by doodle!anon, [here!](http://i.imgur.com/ncumC.jpg)
> 
> Someday I will probably write a Rose/John sequel to this story. Someday.


End file.
